Note to Self (and to all women)

I have noticed that women are like rebounding nets. Every compliment or affirmation you throw a woman's way is almost guaranteed to come back. She may weakly lob it back to you, or she might hurl it violently back at you, but she won't accept it without resistance or denial. What she won't tell you is that deep inside she is excited to hear those compliments and positive words. She delights in them and wants to hear more but she berates herself for feeling that way. Woman has been taught that desiring affirmation makes her needy and needy is not desirable.

Woman is the master of deflection, a super-goalie of the heart, not letting soccer balls of love into her soul. The enemy has been lying to her. He started out with little lies, and when woman believed those, he started telling bigger lies. Suddenly woman hates herself and she doesn't know why. She feels unworthy of attention and undeserving of love. She thinks the essence of her life is underwhelming. There is nothing spectacular about her; that is what she would tell you.

However, woman has so many cheerleaders. There is something about her that the people in her life could brag to you about. She is loyal. She is caring. She is creative. She nurtures others. She sees beyond the walls. But she doesn't know how great she is. Rare is the woman who rejects all the lies inside. Rare is she who is confident and comfortable in herself. Rare is the woman who accepts without argument the idea of her amazingness. It is so easy for others to see the strong and admirable qualities in her but she doesn't embrace them in herself. This leaves those around her more frustrated because "she doesn't get it." Why can't she see how awesome she is? A woman will praise her peers all day but struggle to name one good thing about herself. 

Ladies, if you are complimented on or encouraged about a strength that is God-given, embrace it and apply yourself to making that thing better. Hone that skill, sharpen that quality, so that others can benefit more fully from what you have to offer. Stop crying into your pillow about what you don't have and what you aren't qualified to do and make something of what is already yours! You don't do much good for the Kingdom if you are trying to be your sister or neighbor or pastor's wife!
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Insecurity can easily be mistaken for humility. There was a time that I was talking to a guy about becoming a personal trainer with a company that I used to work for. I guess I had told him that I had been dragging my heels because I was scared of the implications of responsibility, success, failure. I didn't feel like I was suited for the level of professionalism that I was taking on (having been independently training up to that point). He said I was humble and I could sense the respect that he had for me. I was thinking "Where did he get that impression?! He is sorely mistaken!" Humility does not involve the level of doubt that I was experiencing at that time. I couldn't even imagine how I would keep a client engaged for a whole hour! Go ahead, laugh at me, because I do.

Humility is acknowledging your ability, capability, and capacity without elevating yourself. Insecurity is uncertainty, a lack of confidence, and self-derogation. It is important to know the difference between downplaying your strengths (humility) and putting yourself down (insecurity). Insecurity dismisses, humility considers or accepts. Insecurity says "There's no way you can do that!" Humility says "It's  possible."

 It IS possible, with God. It's more than okay to be unsure about doing something in your own power. Actually, it's recommended. Self-reliance is pride, and I am oh so guilty of self-reliance! Humility recognizes that strength is from God and is dependent on Him. When you cultivate what God has placed in you, then it's time to take it to Him and let Him complete the work. I pray that you and I are able to throw off all fear and insecurity and trust in the One who gives peace and boldness.

Shine on, beautiful!
~sweetlybrokenshep~