8th Grade, Valentine's Day
I made a special valentine for the boy I adored. I gladly spent the night before Valentine's Day preparing my masterpiece. It was a paper heart man with accordion arms and legs. The next day I was so excited but nervous to put it on his desk during the party. All the exchanges were made and I sat down at my desk. He picked up my valentine and demanded to know who had made it. "Who made this?!" Like he was angry or something. "Who made this!?" Finally I said, kind of shyly, "I did."
He said, "Oh. Thanks." SNAP! That's the sound of shattered hopes and a broken heart. Is that really all he had to say? Oh, thanks? No one else got a heart! I spent my valuable time on that thing, and I created it with love and passion! I managed every detail of it and worked in anticipation of what it would be! I was proud of it!
--------
I felt this way about a stupid valentine present. Imagine how God feels when we reject His creation, especially when the thing we are rejecting is our very self. It is like slapping God in the face and saying he didn't do well enough when He made you. God doesn't see what we see. He doesn't see ugly or fat, or big noses and crazy hair. He doesn't care because those things aren't important. The most beautiful woman in the world might never utter the name of God except in vain, and what is the use of her beauty? God sees the work of His hands, a beautiful creation that he rejoices over simply for your existence.
God may make someone ugly, whether by that person's standards or anyone's standards, but that isn't all He gives that person. Sometimes beautiful things are in ugly packages so we can appreciate them for what they are inside and look at them as God does. What you appear to be doesn't matter. What you are is what matters. We all know hot jerks and have not-so-cute friends who are angels in disguise.
I think once you can appreciate the beauty of your character it becomes less important what you look like. Your cute face and flat stomach won't get you spiritual wealth or enable you to better the people around you. Your kind and gentle spirit and irrational love are what make you worth something to the world. I'm talking the ability to love when it just doesn't make any sense. There is more fulfillment in developing traits that will last for a lifetime. Physical beauty is very temporary. We all age and develop wrinkles and sagging parts. Integrity, wisdom, and humility are things of beauty that will not only last but grow deeper and more attractive through a lifetime.
