Isn't life ironic? People always tell us to live our lives to the fullest. Live in the moment. Don't let opportunities pass you by because you don't know when or if they will come again. People also say to trust your instincts and listen to your gut.

What do you do when your gut and brain oppose each other? That happened to me tonight. I was invited to join some friends from college for a game night, but my car has been acting funny this week. I had a feeling I should not go. Earlier this week, I had the same feeling but took my car on a longer trip anyway. Besides not trusting my car, I was hesitant to go out because of something that happened last week and I just didn't feel like it after work.

I know myself---I know that when I don't feel like going out and being social, I am (almost) always glad after I do. I thought of all the good times I have had with my friends. I mean, these are the people that allow me to be my crazy self and embrace it. They see sides of me that I wish others could see. So I, being a very experience-driven person, told my gut to shut up. If anyone should know about trusting that niggling feeling, it's me. I've learned the hard way plenty of times. Women are especially nifty with "gut." So you would think I would trust it. I couldn't. I wanted to make the most of my time with friends because I don't know how long we're all going to be in this area. Some of us have already moved. I thought to myself, 'Who knows when this opportunity will come again? This is not like Volleyball Tuesday, Small Group Thursday, or Sunday church. This isn't going to happen again next week. It might not happen next month, or even this year.'

I was going to get to that game night. I was hoping that I would find the place. I was hoping I would find a parking spot. I was hoping that my car would get me there and back home. My car had other ideas. It just shut off in D.C, oblivious to the traffic it was blocking. Some gentlemen were nice enough to push me to the side of the road while their ladies were standing there laughing and shouting 'tow truck! tow truck!.' I had to ignore them because I wanted to get out and betch-slap them, but hey, what's a little more humiliation?

I never made it to game night. Apparently I was in a lose-lose situation. I kept telling myself that I should trust my instincts but I can't regret my decision. Whether I went with my brain or my gut, I was not going to see my friends tonight. Beating myself up over it won't help. Now it is time to wait for something amazing to happen so I have a cool story to tell. Peace


Shep